I Just Gotta Be "ME" Not Someone Else!

Oftentimes an irritating feeling starts to rush through my body, catches me vulnerable and manages to get me under its control.For a while I go to a harsh war with this evil feeling that wrecks me inside, I do my best to defeat it and send it into a complete darkness sometimes that works and I work through this lightly but sometimes I do not and let it keep ruin me one inside the other but at the end of it all thanks to this vicious feeling I find the right way, a right way to again remain myself "I just gotta be "ME" not someone else"

Whenever I see a successful social person I always say "I wish I were like her and were more active socially" or everytime when I meet a person whose writing skills mesmerise me tremendously I always say "I wish I could write like him and had an ability to use my language in more effective way" but everytime I overlooked the truth that actually I do not have to be like them or do not have to have lots of relatives or do not have to write exactly the same way they do or have  a dreadful capacity in writing because I'm beautiful as the way I am.Because my life is great as the way it is.Because my writings are brilliant and original  as the way they are. Trying to be someone else and always comparing my own life, skills and precious things that I have in my life with the other people's stuffs has always kept me off the line and kept me away from moving forward fast so now I have decided to get this shit out of my way :) You better try it too because you will see how peaceful and happy it makes you feel.

Life Is But A Dream

 Have you ever got lost and confused while you are trying to answer "What am I doing to get closer to my dreams?" Have you ever tried to define what life exactly is and found yourself having nothing in both of your hands? Have you ever thought that "Honey you are literally beating your brains out while you are trying to question your life" Have you ever felt like you are going down while you are trying to find out the meaning of your life? And have you ever noticed that while you think that you are getting closer to the core of your life, actually you are making no headway instead drawing yourself into the negativity, despair and confusion? I have done, said and felt every single one of these things.Yeah sometimes I found myself walking down on the street, looking around myself with blank eyes and hearing nothing but my screaming voice inside saying "What am I doing now? For what am I breathing for now? What is the life? What are my dreams? What have I done so far and what is my plan to move closer to my dreams? Come on answer it! But I have no answer...." But today I have decided to turn off this annoying sound that keeping me off the track and tried to find myself a different sound... a sound that will rise into my world like the sun. Because I have learned that life is like a dream and there is no time for questioning and dwelling on the things too much.

There have been always ups and downs in my life, like everyone I have also faced the ground so many times, cried so much, got angry and asked myself "How fair this life is?" "Why am I going through all of these on and on?" "What have I done to deserve to live all of these every time?" but there has been no answer for these, there will not be too.And afterall it was just silly of me to go deep down, question everything about the life and think that I SHOULD get what I want straightaway. I got so blinded by my desires that I could not see the precious things that I have in my life instead I wanted more, more and more because for me this life was unfair and I should have had what I deserve to have RIGHT NOW! But thank god in the end I have came to know that "This is how the things are going in life. Sometimes you wish,work and get what you want but sometimes your wish has never came into a life.Go and cry,slam the door,break something,hurt yourself but at the lenght you will see that none of your actions won't be enough to change this harsh reality. So why don't you try to enjoy this ride, embrace your life with both bads and goods while you keep wishing, hoping, striving for what you want instead of questioning the life, failing to satisfy yourself and ingratituding towards the precious things that you have got in your life? This life is like a dream and we both know that you will have to wake up in the morning so why don't you just grab your pillow,close your eyes and be ready to drop off? :)

  

Dedicated to Seray and Beyonce....One of my inspirations    

Not Gonna Give Up On Myself

 It has been a long time since I last put something here and now while  I'm looking over my shoulders to the past couple of months, I do realize that I have gone through so many things, seen different sides of me, had to get into a tough battle with myself and always felt a big need to share. So now I am back.. back to bring them all down, back to soothe my heart, back to not go back to the square one, back to not give up on myself. 

Farewell 

(Somebody is gonna miss you)

During our lifetimes we always have to say "Goodbye" to so many things.After all of the bad and good days,we have to say "Goodbye" to our lovers when we don't see any future.Maybe because of jealousy,anger,fight,betrayal,distance,poor opportunities... we have to say "Goodbye" to our friendships so many times.To accomplish our dreams,to live our lives the way we feel like,to get rid of the trouble,to feel free,to keep education.... we have to say "Goodbye" to our families,homes,rooms,beds...After months of hardworking we say "Goodbye" to our jobs when it is a holiday time and when it is time to get back to work we say "Goodbye" to chilling,doing anything,beaching unwillingly..As you can see there are so many "Goodbye moments" in our lives both for good and bad reasons.But  for me there is only one fact ıf you are 18 years old "You will say "Goodbye" for a good reason honey"

Since I knew myself,I have never loved saying goodbye.And today I have to say "Goodbye" to so many thing that I love!Today I will hit the road to go to İstanbul.I have been dreaming and working for this for a year and finally I'm getting it.Till today I really didn't notice how hard it is to leave so many things behind.While I was studying,I always said myself "I wanna get out of here! I don't wanna live in here anymore!I wanna see new places,meet new people,experience new things..." Yes I still wanna do them all but you know even ıf I wanna do them all badly,I don't wanna leave the home as well.Though there are so many good reasons to make me stick around here,the other reasons that make me say "Just keep on going" are better in my eyes.Because till when I'm gonna lean on my family and live like this?I need to stand on my feet now.I need to learn the things that  my parents always do on behalf of me.I need to see so many bad and good things and make mistakes to learn something.I need to see so many people to expand my viewpoint.I need to work,sweat,break down,cry and stand tall again.And for these I need to go and say "Goodbye".

One way or another you will have to say "Goodbye" too but don't get caught up in this drama so much! Remember that you will leave them for a good reason,for better life,for your dreams.You need to focus on this and need to do your best to move on.As long as you are a person who always tries to stay strong,happy,hopeful,positive and patient,you will get the feedback and these "Goodbye moments" will only make you smile in time.Focus on your new life and try to smile back to your old life

"I'm selfish,impatient and a little insecure.I made mistakes.I'm out of control and at times hard to handle.But If you can't handle me at my worst then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best"

-Marilyn Monroe

I always believe that one of the best ways to be happy and free is definitely surrounding ourselves with people who make us happy,who we can lean on and open up our hearts without second thoughts.And most of all who love us unconditionally.Though we need to be with people who really care about us,sometimes we try to make people,who don't care about us at all and don't take us as we are,love us.We try to be close friends with them or try to fit into their worlds instead of acting like the way we feel.Though something inside us says "You are not like those people,you talk and act like someone else when you are with them.Just because you want to fit in something,you are trying to avoid your emotions,thoughts,believes...Why do you do this to yourself?" And this inner voice talks the right shit honey.

During my life time, I've seen so many people and spent times with them.Some of them didn't mean so much to me but some of them did and  they are  still so so important and special for me.But so many times I also tried to act like someone else to spend my time with people who don't deserve me at all.Because of so many reasons I tried to act like them and when I was with them I pushed myself.Though everything was crystal clear and I knew I didn't belong to here I keep acting.And one day before making another faking,I questioned my heart and asked myself "This is who really you are? Do you feel that way indeed? Are you comfortable with this?How long will you keep doing this shit?"And that was my confession time.Though so many of you can see these times as a mistake,waste of time or something to regret,I never think like that.Now and always I will thank all of these people who helped me experience this and helped me learn "I need to surround my world with people who make me feel happy,free and who take me as I am"

So let's make a confession to yourself.Think about people who you care about so much.Ask yourself ıf they really deserve this care?Ask yourself ıf you are totally happy and peaceful when you are with them?They can enjoy and make you smile when you are looking for a reason to smile? They take you as you are and respect your past and choices?I hope your answers are yes,yes,yes and yes but ıf not then stay away from them.Don't give love,care and affection that you always give them.Don't try to act like them.You don't have to act like someone else to fit in somewhere.You just need to be yourself.You don't have to change yourself or be ashamed of yourselves,your choices,your mistakes,your family,your emotions...You need to find people who embrace you with all of these things.Living alone is always better than living like someone else.So make your decision and listen to your heart carefully.Be brave to be totally yourself.Quit faking and come out of the their shadow.Step into your bright true world.As long as you are honest about yourself,you will find people who really deserve your love.You are precious,one and important.Remember this and fill your world out with people who are as precious,one and important as you are!

Let The Bad Go Away

Sometimes we all get caught up in our emotions and feel bad things towards people.This can be anger,jealousy,hate...And whenever I feel one of these emotions intensely,I hurt myself inside.At first place I cant control it.Because you know I'm so angry at someone that I cant see the bright side of the situation.But this time I realized that this is nothing but a waste of time.2 days ago I was so fucking much angry at someone.I didn't want to see him and even wanted him to die! I was saying to myself "Why the hell is he living still?! He doesn't deserve to live! So many innocent people are dying but he is still alive and doing bad things to me!"Yes I still don't like him.And still don't think he deserves to live like this.Still I don't like him and don't wanna see him everyday.But after all of this anger and hate I saw that I cant do anything to change this situation.All I can do is just follow my dreams and go away from him.And I'm so closer to do this now.So why the hell should I feel these bad emotions and let these ruin me!?

So I decided to feel nothing.Instead of feeling bad things towards someone and making my mind busy with all of these things,I decided to just let them all go.I know myself and my heart always says "Love people and spread the love" So how can I let bad things flourish within me?

So let's try to get rid of your bad emotions step by step.All you have to do is just cut dead grasses and plant alive seeds on your heart.Feel anger,hate,jealousy... but also know how to deal with them! Experience all of these emotions but don't let them ruin you.Just close your eyes,make your decision and let them all go.After this you will feel happiness and peace.You don't have to live with these loads just find a trash to unload them all.Keep living with free mind 

Fly like a bird with no worries...

Rule 2: First Change Yourself To Change This World

We all want something from universe.We all want to change something about universe.Some of us want to see the world full of peace.Some of us want to see happiness all around the world.Some of us want to share love and respect to the world.Some of us want to take poor people's life higher.Some of us want to help people who have issues about themselves like self-harm,suicide,mental illness...Some of us want to encourage people about their dreams.Some of us want to see "real freedom".Some of us want to meet good people and have true friends.And couple of requests like these...But how can we accept all of these good things without seeing all of these good things within us?

I always believe that ıf you want something good from universe you need to show something good to it.If you want to see happy world,first you need to find happiness within yourself.If you want to see peaceful world first you need to feel peace all over your body.If you want to see love and respect from people first you need to find both of them and show them to the world.If you want to help people,first help yourself about your issues.If you want to give people strength to get over their issues like suicide,self-harm... first you need to discover the hero that lives within you.See,we cant get what we want unless we change ourselves.We cant see the world that we want without starting revolution within us.

Everything in this world depends on us.If you want to be happy today no matter what,yes you can be.But also ıf you force yourself to be sad,yes you can do this too.Though recovery is not easy at all,ıf you really want,you cant beat the evil that living within you or keep harming yourself.Though there are so many reasons to stay strong and hopeful,you can choose the dark path.The way you control and change yourself,you can control and change this world.

Now find somewhere to sit and be ready for the trip to your heart.All you need to do is focusing on yourself.Now it is time to evaluate and judge yourself.Open up your heart to yourself and lay all of the bad and good things down.According to your dreams and the world that you want to see,rebuild yourself.Say"I want to see this world like... and I need to get rid of these bad things"After this you will feel pure peace,happiness and strength to go after your dreams.Don't forget that ıf you cant change yourself you cant change this world.So stand up and take a step for world! 

How To Be A World Changer 

Rule 1:Find Something To Fight For

We all wake up with our own purposes every morning.Some of  us wake up to go to work.Some of us wake up to prepare breakfast.Some of us wake up to go to school.Some of us wake up to go to loo.There are so many reasons which make us wake every morning.My reasons? I'll definitely say MY DREAMS! Every morning while saying hello to a new day I always ask myself "What are you gonna do to come closer to your dreams?"I need to ask this and do something useful for them.Because I found something to fight for and even die for.

We all have so many beautiful dreams.Some of us have dreams which involve just "us" but some of us have dreams which involve "US".I know I wrote the same thing twice but this "US" has a different meaning for me."US" means "Me and World".From the beginning I always want to do great things both for me and the others.Because I'm aware of the fact that I'm not living alone in this world.While I'm writing this and drinking my tea,so many people out there are starving.So many of them don't have any home to live in.So many of them are going through hard days because of the war.So many of them don't have any family or friends to lean on.Some of them have so many dreams but don't have any way to make them come true.Some of them have to hide their personalities,their sexual,political,religious choices.They have no freedom to act like the way they think and feel.Some of them have mental illnesses.Some of them have self-harm issues and even have thoughts about suicide.How can I stay quiet while knowing that so many people are suffering out there!That's why I made my decision.I want to help them all and change this world at least a little.And I will give my everything to make them come true.And "Finding something to fight for" is the first step that you should take on the road of your dreams.

Now first you need to know yourself.You know to ask yourself "What I want? What am I living for? What are my dreams? Where I want to be in 10 years time?"Mark your goal and hit the road! If you don't know where are you going it doesn't matter how much you work.Can you imagine a ship without a route? No? Then mark your goal!

When Christmas Comes

Winter...With Autumn ,definitely my favorite seasons.But I'm not here to talk about Autumn right now.Yes I love it too and yes it makes me feel god damn good as well but winter is more special for me.Why? Definitely because of Christmas! In my lifetime I saw snow only one time because in here If you want to enjoy the real cold and snow,you need to go to high places.And only one time I had this chance.I remember the funny road trip,the meals that we ate and perfect snow.After this,I have never seen snow so far.Just heavy rainstorms and hails.But this is over this year and I will have so many opportunities to enjoy the snow and Christmas when I get to İstanbul!!!I have never enjoyed Christmas.Neither with my friends nor my family.And so many times I fell asleep because I had nothing to do or enjoy.But thank god I will be able to enjoy it as the way people do all around the world.But other than Christmas' itself I'm also excited about Christmas songs.From now,I have prepared my list and definitely,HELL YEAH FROM MARİAH CAREY!

Since I started writing this,I have been listening Mariah's Merry Christmas 2 You album.I have because the joy that I feel in songs inspire me to write about winter.And I think she is the queen of Christmas  songs.Though we are in the middle of summer,now I forget about the heat and season.I feel like I'm in winter and no other singer can make me feel that way.Sounds that used in songs,her voice,emotion,joy and soul...All of these things make feel in winter.Though it is not so realistic at all now,I will both listen this album and feel real cold soon.I'm gonna sing Mariah and just live it up! Maybe first I'm gonna say to my lover "All I Want For Christmas Is You" and later I'm gonna let Mariah bless my ears with "Silent Night and O Holy Night" and I'm gonna just dance with "Oh Santa and Auld Lange Syne" 

Here is my suggestion for you:

Live every single moment of your life with joy and happiness.Don't wait till Christmas to make new plans or changes about your life.Stand up and listen Mariah's Christmas album!Feel like you are on Christmas Day while enjoying the music.Change your view and make plans to get yourself farther.

Define your dreams and work for them!

People always say "I wanna be rich,I wanna have a big house,I wanna have fancy clothes,I wanna travel all around the world,I wanna have a good job..." And whenever I hear those kind of words from them I be happy because I love dreaming about my future and when I see people have dreams and they work for them I be happy for them.But sadly not all of  us are doing the important part:WORKİNG! Yes we all can talk about our dreams,we can say so many things about them but If we never work for them how we can accept them come true?No good thing comes without trying.No good thing comes easily to your hands!You need to take steps to come closer to them.Nobody can help  you ıf you don't fight for them! Don't forget that you are alone in this world and those are your dreams so you cant accept someone to come and help you about them while you are sitting aimlessly.If you really wanna have a fancy future then set your goals and fight for them! Be realistic about them.Know your actual potential and set your goals according to this! Don't accept that you are gonna get it at first place! Sometimes you will have to get through hard times.You will be on the verge of giving up.You will think that you are never gonna make them happen.But no matter what you should keep your faith.You should keep believing in yourself.There will be battles that you will have to fight but don't forget that it is your choice to choose victory or defeat.So stand up and work for your dreams! 

Seray'll Always Be My Friend

Almost everyone in this world has special songs that they listen when they feel god damn happy or terribly sad.Or when they break up with someone or when they have an unrequited love or when they love someone badly.They can listen it to enjoy being alone or to complain about it.Or when they need to stay strong and positive no matter what.They can listen it when they need something to lean on.Or when they need a sound or lyrics to make themselves cry.All of us have their own reasons for having special songs in our lives.And I have such a big precious reason that I will never ever gonna stop listening this song because of the big precious reason.What is my reason? Definitely MY BEST FRİEND!

6 or 7 years ago I heard "Umbrella" when I was in our neighbors' house.I heard it randomly and for a quite little time.But it didn't impress me at all at first place also I didn't have any clue about whom sings this song.But years later,after I discovered Rihanna,this song became the special one for me in time.But I don't know how to explain this "special" because you know when you ask yourself "Why do you like this that much?" generally you don't know how to explain the reason why you love someone or something badly.You can try to explain it and describe the love that you have within for it/him.You can write about it lengthily and talk about it for hours but you can't describe it totally.I feel exactly like this whenever I ask myself  "Why I like this song and her that much?"

Here are my reasons:

I remember the times when I heard "Said I'll always be your friend..." part in Umbrella like "Seray will always be your friend".I know that's funny but during these years I both didn't have as good English as I have now and I was open to make up lyrics before checking the originals.After this made-up I like it so much and dedicated this song to her.I did because there were so many reasons for me to do this.You know I always think that before she came into my life I was not living at all.Yes literally I think like this.Our strong attachment was like my rebirth.Now I don't have any good memories about my life's "Before her part".This part is full of fake friends and lonely days.But after she stepped into my world,every single thing colored.My life,my perspective,my head,my atmosphere....Shortly she broke all my life down and built it up with love and respect.

From the beginning,we've always treated each other with love and respect and never hide our true selves from each other.We never judge each other with our history or something else.We always try to respect each other's history  and hope to welcome our future with happiness.And because I know she will always gonna love me no matter what I do or who I am, I never hide something from her.I always say what I want to say to her straightly.Without second thought or any worry.I can walk around care free with her and I can laugh at something till I get enough.I can eat a meal with her without being careful about my mouth :D I can sing songs to hear and she always listens to me no matter how terrible my voice sounds.I can say so many things that we do freely when we are together.And I think "being as you are and acting freely" are one of the most important thing in friendships.And we have a perfect example.

As I always say "If you love someone truly,distance means nothing".There were so times when we had to stay away from each other and sometimes we didn't have any access to talk on phone.During these times we both kept living our lives in different places but there was not any change about our love.It's always stayed the same.Yes we couldn't talk on the phone but when we heard a Rihanna or Mariah song in somewhere our images came into each other's mind.Or when we stumbled and were about to fall,we smiled and said "If she were in here now we would definitely laugh like a crazy"...Yes we had to stay away from each other so many times but this never affected our love because it is so damn true that distance,time,people or something else never ever gonna tear it down.

To be continued...

Free Your Mind

Problems,fears,worries...While we are saying hello to the new day,we all can have such thoughts in our heads.We can be wondering about what we are gonna see today or we can fear about something.And sometimes we can even afraid to wake up and face the new day.Yes we can start the day with full of bad things but that doesn't mean that we are gonna end up like this.We can free our mines from all of these negatives or we can let them ruin our days.We can knock them out and shut them up or we can let them scream.You can be angry at someone,you can feel sorry about something,you can have a broken-heart....Yes you should feel all of these emotions.You should free yourself to feel these.You have a right to cry and suffer from them.But you don't have any right to ruin your day! Live this pain inside you but don't let it ruin your day.Believe or not this is in your hand so don't be the one who is controlled by his emotions.Be the one who has control over his emotions.If you do this,you can both experience these emotions and embrace them but above all you can learn how to handle them and how to see and welcome the day with positive thoughts

Positive Will Save You

We all get angry sometimes or feel terrible,sad about something.These emotions are quite normal and we all can experience these things almost everyday.But not all of us get through these emotions in the same way.Some of us after suffering from them choose moving on as rapidly as we can.But some of us keep suffering from them like these emotions are good and useful for us.These people always try to make big deals out of the little things.They make themselves feel worse all the time.Though they can find the peace and solution within them,they choose to stay negative and keep talking about how they feel terrible.But why we always do this?Are we that much blind to can't see the positive side of it? Or though we see the truth is clear,we pretend like not seeing it? Or we like always talking about our problems but not learning a lesson from them? There may be so many reasons for this but there is only one solution: To see the positive side and moving on!If you manage to see bad side and pretend like you don't see the good side,you can see the good side too.Just focus on good things and don't exaggerate your problems!Don't try to create new nonsense problems to yourself! Just see the bright side and enjoy your life! Because that darkness in your head can ruin your life but positive will always save you! 

They Can't Take That Away From Me

From the beginning of her career,Mariah has always tried to give a message to the people by her songs.She did this not only during her tough years but also did during her top years.She have made songs about so many things but when someone says "Mariah" her songs about the hard days or being strong or loving yourself come into my mind mainly.Because you may not like someone's songs about love,sex or something else but almost everyone likes the songs about being strong,loving yourself,loving other people or world's peace...Because everyone in this world can experience one of these things during their lifetimes.They like these kind of songs because they can see some parts of their lives in lyrics.

You know sometimes we don't have anyone on whom we can lean and open up our hearts without any worry.At these times these kind of songs can be our friends.Even can be more than a human because people can judge you for the things that you got through but music cant do this to you.It can listen to you and give you a power to rise from the ground.But don't judge you.And Mariah's songs like Through the Rain,Hero,Can't Take That Away From Me,Fly Like a Bird,Bye Bye,Heavenly,My Saving Grace always give me power to keep on living my life no matter what happens and give me a lesson to love myself as the way I'm and give me a hope to go after my dreams no matter what they say.

So now find yourself something to lean on when times get hard for you to handle.Find yourself songs,movies,series,photos....Find yourself a thing to feel free,happy and strong.Because there will always be people who try to tear you down and you will be down because of them sometimes.They will say "You cant do this,you are just a dreamer,these dreams are too hard for you to accomplish.just forget about them..." Or there will be hard days to trip you up.You will have to fight against yourself sometimes! But you don't have to worry about all of these bad things.Just find your support and keep on doing what you believe!There is a light in yourself and don't let anyone kill this! 

There is a light in me

That shines brightly

They can try but

They can't take that away from me

You're Fuckin' Flawless

We always say "Nobody's perfect,Everyone has both bad and good sides,Everyone can make mistake...."Yes those words are totally right.Some of us can be so beautiful,some of us cant be.Some of us can be handsome,some of us cant be.Some of us can be god damn sexy,some of us cant be.But we all can feel god damn Flawless despite all of these.How? Keep reading!

I'm sure we all got through these "I'm not beautiful at all,I'm so fat and I don't look attractive at all,people say I'm too thin to look sexy...." days.And because of these shitty things we felt so bad about ourselves.But you know,people always talk about how the others look like.They can criticize others easily.They can make judgments by only looking at others' faces.And you cant make them stop.But you can stop listening them.You don't have to change anything about the others.You have to change your view to yourself.Because they don't know who actually are you.But wait are you gonna let those people who don't even know who you actually are judge you and make you feel bad? 

Yes maybe you've let this happen so far but now choose your side.Are you gonna let them get into you or just don't care about them all? I'm sure you are gonna choose "Don't care about them all".You have to learn this because during your lifetime you wont always be welcomed by people well.They are gonna say bad thing to tear you down.And they will keep hurting you ıf you let them hunt you.So choose yourself a sentence and say this to yourself always.Say "I'm beautiful like this,I'm important,I'm unique,I'm god damn sexy,I'm flawless,I'm strong...."You don't have to make others convince that you are beautiful,sexy,strong,important...If you believe this and love yourself truly,who cares about the others' thoughts?!

I have always believed that every human being is important,unique and beautiful on his form.We don't have to change anything about ourselves.We should always love ourselves and say good things rather than bad things.We should look at ourselves in the mirror and say good words to make ourselves feel more happy and positive.You don't need anyone's compliment to feel better.You can be your own hero.If you do this,you will find the peace and happiness within you.Don't forget that you woke up like this and you are flawless just as you are.

You wake up, flawless
Post up, flawless
Ridin' round in it, flawless
Flossin' on that, flawless
This diamond, flawless
My diamond, flawless
This rock, flawless
My rock, flawless

The Boy is Hers

I've known her since her "Put it Down" song.And I'm so sorry for the times that I didn't know her.I wish I could have followed her music since her breakthrough.I'm saying this because Brandy is doing the type of music that I love badly.Yes she is doing R&B and yes I know so many female R&B singers but you know she is different for me.Her voice,her music style,music taste,her stand....Whenever I look at her photos,she seems to me so cute and she makes me smile.And whenever I put her records on,she makes me dance,she makes me feel emotional,she makes me feel a little furious (I'm talking about The Boy is Mine).... Sadly,her latest album didn't show a good chart performance and because generation are changing,people don't listen her songs as much as they did.I have seen so many singers who were popular when they first came out but now few of the people know her/his name.This is a sad situation for me.They all work for albums,tours,promotions...but not all of them are getting the feedback that they deserve for their works.Yes I know everybody doesn't have to listen Brandy or other singers that forgotten but you know this is sad.But this is the rule of the world.You can be on the top but you are also gonna taste the being at the bottom.But the point is enjoying every single minute of your top days till you are gonna hit the bottom.

My Favorites From Brandy

The Boy is Mine

Right Here

Have You Ever

Full Moon

Afrodisiac

They say "One man's trash is another man's treasure"

A year ago in May when I heard that there would a song called "Double Rainbow" in Katy's new album,I got so excited.I did because I both wanted to hear something new from her and the name of the song sounded to me interesting.Why? Because you know it is "Double" rainbow.Not just rainbow.It is kinna different and because I like rainbow,it made me so excited.And definitely soon as I listened this song,I liked it so much!! It is so relaxing and has something different.When I listen it,I feel like I'm in the forest or somewhere full of peace.Whenever I listen this song,I generally look through sky or sea or mountains.Because when I do this,I really get into this song and feel it completely.Yes this is a song about love but I never think about a love for a human whenever I listen it.I feel different love.Love for nature,love for sky,love for rainy weather,love for cloudy weather....And also love for Sunday!

Since I knew myself,I have loved Sundays.Because I'm a student, this day always be my actual holiday.I feel so free on Sundays because my vicinity is more peaceful on this day.And thanks to this I can enjoy the day with lots of soft musics and walking around.But today I feel more different.Because I'm feeling nostalgic.The times when I first listen this album comes into my mind and it makes me smile.Whenever I feel like this I say myself "How fast the time passes".Sometimes I hate this but sometimes I wish time passed rapidly.This is as weird as the other things in life.But whatever.

'Cause I understand you, we see eye to eye
Like a double rainbow in the sky
And wherever you go, so will I

'Cause a double rainbow is hard to find

Set Your Prejudice Aside

I've known Ciara since 2010 and honestly I always thought that she is not a good person.I don't know why but you know when you look someone's face you either get good impression or bad impression and I got bad from her.And after this I didn't want to listen her songs.My prejudice about her unfortunately affected my attitude against her songs.I listened her songs so many times with hoping  "Maybe I can like them" but I didn't. In time I've heard so many bitchy things about her.And heard her bad comments about Riri and all of these made me stay away from her.And also I don't think she is as popular as she was during 2004-2008.She is not renewing herself (Except for her latest album).Whenever I listen her albums I feel the same emotions,same lyrics,same sounds...But her latest album "Ciara" is a little different.It is more original and more energetic.Sounds are different and more catchy.Though this album's singles didn't make a great chart performance,I like listening this album so much anyway.Whenever I listen it, it makes me dance.I make up my own dance moves and just dance,dance,dance....And after this album,I started to listen her other albums.Honestly saw that there are so many good songs of her too.

This Ciara experience made me learn that you shouldn't be prejudiced against anything and anyone.When we hear something about a thing or someone,we should think over it again and again before we give a judgement.Because we only see the half of it.At first place we can't see the whole picture.That's why we need to search about it,we shouldn't believe everything that people say,we shouldn't make certain comments about the things.Because you know we don't know their lives,their emotions their personalities...We only see what TV,magazine,radio or people say.Nothing more.But I'm not only talking about the celebrities.It could be your friend....So don't judge people by only looking through one side.Consider all the things that you heard and listen the people who you are gonna make decision about.Nobody wants to be misunderstood by the others.So be aware of this and think justly.And Don't let your prejudices control your life.Be your own bo$$ and control yourself 

My Favorites from Ciara Album

I'm Out

Sophomore

Overdose 

                                                                  I Was Here
I have been listening this song for 3 years but during the first 2 years I couldn't get the actual message that song gives to us.Because I was just a kid during these years.I was not aware of so many things.I was just living in my narrow world and never thinking about the world.But in time I've grown and so have my ideas.As I was breaking my shell,I started to understand the others.I saw that so many people are suffering from so many bad things.And so many of them don't have any anchorage, don't have any hope to keep on living.So many of them are losing their houses,fathers,mothers,sisters,brothers....So many of them are fighting for their dreams and even dying for them.So many of them are dying because of their sexual,political,religious choices.So many of them are talented in singing,drawing,dancing and so many of them have talent in basketball,football,tennis but don't have any opportunity to do these.

Actually you know,we all saw and  have seen all of these things but so few of us are thinking about them and feel responsibility about these.As for me,I saw that our world is full of these shits.And after this I asked myself "Am I gonna just sit and let people end up like this?" and answered myself  "Hell no!".And that's when I decided to change this world as much as I can.I don't know how am I gonna do this.And yes I know it is  not going to be easy but I don't care."One way or another I'm gonna change at least one thing in this world and the hearts that I have touched will be the proof that I lived.I will make a difference and this world will see I WAS HERE.I lived I loved.I was here.I did,I've done."

I wrote this because I want to let the world know that we need to do something.We cant just watch all of these shits.We are all responsible for them.So we need to stop staying away from each other and need to just stick together for the world.We can think differently we can believe in different things we can like different things but we all are living in the same world.So we need to just forget about all of these differences and stick each other for us.I will give my everything to make this happen so don't stand there like this.You can do anything to make one child even smile so spread the word and stand up for the world.Spread love,respect and peace.Always be brave and never give up on your dreams.Be strong for both yourself and others.Don't forget that ıf we can believe and wish this from bottom of our hearts,we all can change this world and say "I WAS HERE"


Hope for leaving this world just a little better :) Thank you Queen Bee for making such a perfect and inspirational song

               
                                                                Me Myself and I
When I first listened the snippet of Alien I felt so different.It was like "Falling in love".This song impressed me because of so many things.It impressed me because this song is about the things that Britney got through between 2005-2008 and about how she was lonely during these bad years.It impressed me because I'm a human and once I felt that much lonely too.It impressed me because its producer is William Orbit! This guy's musics always great in my eyes.(He also did Madonna's Ray of Light album)They are like from heaven.They sound so different,natural,relaxing....That's why when I heard he made this song I was so damn happy.And he didn't let me down.

I had been going through hard days lately and I just wanted to be alone.I didn't wanna talk to anyone because something evil in my head made me feel bad and angry.I got angry for nothing and I didn't wanted to hurt anyone because of this shit so I avoided people.I just wanted to be alone till I got this shit out of me.And during this tough day,so many songs had been my friends like Through the rain,Hero,Lift me up,Heavenly..... and ALİEN.As Britney said,I felt so lonely during these day and I thought that no one understood me and no one would help me about this.I was really desperate about it.I didn't know what to do.Because I couldn't even guess what was I gonna see tomorrow.I was afraid and I couldn't even sleep at night but I guess I through it.Because I saw a hope again.I saw a light which made me come to myself.And I hope I won't lose it because I need it,everybody needs hope to keep on living.But whatever I did it and I'm fine now and I will always be fine as long as I've got my best friend and these songs.

I hope now you are listening Alien and feeling like travelling through the universe.And whenever you feel lonely listen this song because Britney and I say:

                                                But the starts in the sky look like home,take me home
                                                And the light in your eyes lets me know,I'm not alone

H.A.T.E.U

(Having a Typical Emotional Upset)

When I first saw this song,the writing type of the song attracted me.I had already seen so many songs of Mariah which were written differently but this one looked to me more different.And I gave it a try but I didn't like it at first place.It didn't impress me at all and I just passed it.But couple weeks later I listened it again and this "We went round for round till we knocked love out..." part and the sound behind it so damn impressed me.I had been listening this song for a year but it couldn't be my favorite song till July 2014.I don't remember exactly when but I started listening this song one day and never quit listening.It is so special to me but I cant describe it you know it is like my friend.When I want to cry,when I want to just sleep or be alone,this song always there for me like a friend.And this is never gonna change.

As for the content of the song,it is perfect. Mariah is just killing it with her soft voice and her whistles.Generally I don't like when Mariah sings in low voice (Though I listen it anyway) but somehow this song didn't disturb me about this.Because she both uses low tones and high tones in it. My favorite part is definitely "No need to call my phone cuz I changed...." part.I love singing this part so much.And while I was memorizing this part I had so much fun.I freaked out when I confused the lyrics while going to school and stuffs like that.

I know this was kinna written for a lover and it is a break-up song and I know I didn't break up with someone but you don't have to experience the same feelings to listen the songs.So I don't care.I will keep listening and singing this song everyday and never gonna quit this.

I hope now someone is reading this and thinking about Youtube and Mariah Carey-H.A.T.E.U 

                                                            Hey there strangers!
From now on I'm gonna share the songs and artists that I'm listening during the day.I love discovering songs and sharing these with people.Doing this makes me feel so damn good so sharing the songs that I love with you all will be great.I love doing this.And I'm waiting for your suggestions too.I'm almost open to every genre.Pop,Rock,R&B,Electronic(Not too much),Punk,Jazz,Soul,Hip Hop....And generally love listening Female Singers.They attract me more than males.So ıf your song is from female singer feel more free to suggest me :) I'm waiting :)

                                                             Artist of the day : Duffy 

Never Satisfied

Satisfying yourself.This term depends on how do you see the life through your eyes.Some of us can do this with tiny things and some of us need big things to do this.But eventually we all satisfy ourselves.Do we?Are you %100 sure?I don't know about you but I'm not that much sure.Because we are talking about humans in here.The creatures who can lose their controls over some things.And like so many other things we sometimes cant control our "Satisfying things".How we?Just keep on reading.

I've always admired the people who constantly fight for what they want and wish having better things.But sometimes we can bump into a problem about this.now,"Not being happy with the things that you have right now,till you have better ones"This is a big problem indeed.Because so many people are making themselves unhappy because of this.In their eyes,all the things that they have are not enough for them and sometimes they even see these things as a nothing.Because they focus so much on the better things that they want that they cant see the precious tiny things they already have.

Let's think about lovers who can see each other twice or three times a week at most somehow someway.But they always complain about this "Limited Time".They say "We cant see each other's faces enough!I wanna stay with you and hug you for hours.I don't wanna stay just for an hour...."And they make fights because of these stupid little things.But "They don't even have to see each other every day to be a lover They can stay away from each other for days,weeks... and despite these they can still love each other.Because distance and time mean nothing ıf there is a pure and powerful love"

It is not my business to judge but there are so many people who always try to have bigger houses,better cars,better mobile phones,better clothes,BETTER BETTER BETTER BUT WİTHOUT FEELİNG ANY BETTER?! Yes you can have a dream about having a big house in LA but ıf you have "a house" now and you are complaining about it like "This house is too small,I don't wanna live in here anymore,I'm ashamed of it...." then you are doing wrong honey.You should keep on dreaming about having a big house in LA but till then you should learn to be happy with the things that you got.Only that way you can be totally happy and only that way you can go after them.But ıf you choose other mess way,you probably will prepare your own death.

So make your decision!

Being happy with the things that you got

OR

Complaining about them constantly

                       

Forgiving (Not for me)

I have never been the type of person who hates people or bears a grudge in himself.Because I have always taught myself to love people no matter what they did or done to me.Everybody can make so many mistakes during his lifetime.And all of them are forgivable.Because hate can both damage me and the others.That's why we need to forgive and move on.Yes I always said this to myself.Over and over again!!And during my life I have experienced bad things,fights...But eventually I got over them and forgave both for me and the others.But I cant forgive one person in my life.I hate this "hate" feeling but I have had this feeling towards him since I remembered myself.I know I gotta to get rid of this feeling but you know I cant and I never will.Because the hate in me is towards my father.I don't like him and more I hate him.There is big big hate to him.I cant describe it.No love just hate!He has done so many bad things to us that I don't know how to love him.And I don't want to.Sometimes I wish I never had a father like this because I'm ashamed of him.There are so many people who lost their dad when they were too young.And I always think that this should have been different.Their fathers (I'm talking about the good fathers) are a good person but they are dead.Mine is shit but he is still alive!?They are supposed to live now not mine.But you know you cant change some things and I accepted that.But you know it is too hard sometimes.Sometimes he talks so much,yells at me,swears and things like and I'm used to hear these when he says to me but when it comes to my mom and sister things change! I cant put up with this.Because I hate seeing them like this.I know they are strong they are  used to this shit but I know they are crying inside and it is killing me more!Because I cant do anything anything anything! He is sick and we cant imagine how he are gonna act when we answer back at him.That's why we  have learnt to stay quite but sometimes this is so hard.And today it is the hardest! Because he is trying to intervene into my dreams.He is trying to ruin them.This is killing me.But I never gonna let this happen.No fucking way!I have been working for my dreams and never gonna let some asshole ruin this!I have got so many things in me.I'm angry,upset,worried...This is so tough but I'm tougher and I'm gonna through this with my mom and sister.I cant stay quite anymore.I cant do this.And I'm gonna figure this out someway.I will stay strong and never gonna let my asshole father ruin us.

                                                             

                                       Make a Wish from Bottom of Your Heart

We all be speechless during our lifetime.Sometimes when we get proposal,when we hear "I love you" from our lovers,when we lost someone,when we get something,when we see a celebrity and WHEN WE ACCOMPLİSH ONE OF OUR DREAMS! I literally experienced this last one today.Did how?Here is my story.

My story about İstanbul began a year ago.Whenever my friends and teachers asked me "Where do you want to go to university?" I always answered "İstanbul!" At first place I had no idea about how am I gonna live in İstanbul.I only thought about going there because I was under its spell (still I'm).And in time I've learned so many things about İstanbul both good and bad.And yeah sometimes I thought "I never gonna live in there I'm not good enough for it....." But whenever I felt the hope was gone I looked inside of me and be strong.Because I always think that I need to live in İstanbul! There is no other way for me.That's why I did my best to keep myself on track.Other than me there were so many people who encouraged me to not give up on my dreams! When I was away from those people there were so many songs which made me feel stronger and happy.And with ups and downs,we came to the day of exam.

On the day of my last university exam I through hard things.Actually at the week of my exam I through lots of things. All of these things and other things that I experienced during the year made me sick I guess.I was afraid because I didn't feel good.And I was wondering how I would over this exam.Because I had worked so much for it I was ready for it but you know I had a doubt about it and yes illness affected me so much! I couldn't do my best!But results were pretty good which gave me a hope for my dreams again.But there was a big problem! I was not sure ıf I would go there with my best friend or not! This was so important for me because she is my everything :) And back in the days we always dreamed about going İstanbul and doing the things that we cant do now....During this vague period we always hoped for it "Going İstanbul together" and we were not disappointed.(We worked for it so much and yeah I warned her so many times YES SO MANY TİMES about studying for university exams and she listened  my words after 10 or 11 times warning :D)
And today while I was sleeping I was awakened by a phone ring.I never thought this call was about results but it was.I got my ass from the bed and took my phone to listen Umbrella (Because I believe it brings me luck ).I was so excited  my body was shaking and after I saw "İstanbul" word on computer screen I was literally speechless.I broke down and cried.I couldn't say a thing.But my tears spoke on behalf  of my tongue.It was such a special moment for me....I had been waiting this moment for a year.And now it was here and I was so so happy :) 

Here is my success story :) During this period I've learnt so many good things and became better version of me! During these times I always believed in myself,I didn't give up no matter what the others said,I learned to motive myself for the the things that I didn't want to do,I learned to be my own best friend and most of all I made a wish from bottom of my heart! I believed it and here is the result.I hope my story inspires you :) I hope this story gives you a power for your dreams.Go after your dreams and always do whatever you wanna do and do your best to create a future that you always dreamed of :) If we don't go after our dreams then why the hell are we living? :D 

                                  Faith,power,luck and love to you all!

I'm sure almost everybody in this world experienced this "Unrequited Love" at least one time.I can hear your saying YESS! but my  YES is bigger because though I didn't count it (or maybe I did one time) I experienced this thing 12 or 13 times.Especially during my high-school life.But the hardest one is the first one without a doubt!It was too hard for me to through it because I cant call the back then myself as a though boy!I can call the back then myself as a person who always tries to make himself feel worse though there is nothing to worry about.Guess how I made myself feel sorry about it!But as people say "No pain last forever" and it didn't actually!After lots of crying and getting a last and stiff suggestion from my bestie I came to myself and I think this was the thing that made me strong and made me who I'm now!In time I managed to stop my tears,cast out the things that made me feel bad and found the power that I never thought I had.And this first cut have affected the other 12 cuts.It has kinna shortened the time of my overcome.

Yes it hurts so bad indeed.Love or call it whatever.It hurts so much at first place.But you need to know that you cant always get what you want.And when you cant you should let it go!You need to get it as fast as you can and do your best to move on with saying this to yourself "Yes I'm gonna love someone truly one day I believe this and till then I need to take care of myself because I'm important".You need to be happy no matter what.You need to find happiness within you.Neither the girl/boy that you like nor the others are gonna give you happiness If you cant create it on your own.Don't forget that at the end of the day you are gonna be on your own.Not the others,just you.So ıf you wanna sleep without space and in peace then find say "I'm happy,I'm precious,I'm important and I'm gonna find my first love one way or another"

From my heart to you all! 

The Voice Within...

Happiness..Though this word is easy to write,it is not always easy for everybody to find it.I have seen so many people who always try to make things worse instead of trying to survive from them.Yes we all get through so many bad things during our lifetime but there is no need for keep on mourning and feeling bad about these bad things.Yes in your first meeting with this bad things you can break down and cry till you don't have any tears to cry.But after this you need to learn lessons from your experience.You can't live your life with feeling bad and sorry about the past.You need to get over.You need to stay strong no matter what.You need to be happy.But you don't have to look for happiness far away from yourself.Happiness is always near to you.It is within you.That's why no one can help you If you can't find happiness and power within you.People can only give you a way but not the key of happiness.You can break up with your lover,you can lost someone,you can fail to pass your exams,you can lost your job....it is your right to feel bad about them but it is also your responsibility to through it as fastly as you can.It is not easy but easy never good.Remember!

People generally tend to make themselves feel worse.They link their happiness to ridiculous or big things.They say when they break up with their lovers "I never gonna be happy" Why the heck people think like this while there are so many good things to make us happy.You need to be happy because you are alive.You need to be happy because you can walk without any help.You need to be happy because you can breath....If you wanna be happy just open the window and look through the sky.And think about how lucky you are to see this great scene :) 

Happiness is precious so find it and never let it go!

Monday...This day used to mean so much to me and it was not just like the other days.It was special because when Mondays came,I went to school.Yes,yes I know this sounds weird because so many teenagers don't like going school in our century.But I loved so damn much.They have their own reasons for this but I got only one reason: My Friends! During my 4 years high-school life,they made it look good.They were always there for me (and still).We had a different world in school.I mean school was kinna shelter for us.No matter how hard things we through at home we all forgot about them all.We were like be isolated from our lives in school. In spite of our exams,tests,boring classes,some assholes... we liked school.And I will always love there.When I got back home from school I felt so lonely because almost nobody understood me at home.That's why I always spent my time with my computer.From morning to afternoon I was at school and from afternoon to night I was at home or prison. My life was going exactly like that and I don't remember when exactly I felt bored. Because there were so many things to do though so much of them about university exam which I hate but anyway these times were good indeed.Yes.We always said each other "On the one hand I want all of them are over but on the other hand I don't wanna stay away from us" But you know nobody can change the fate and now I'm here writing this with my loneliness and so damn miss these days! But nothing has changed.We still love each other and I have so many good friendships.And whenever I hug them I say to myself "Yes I have so many good friendships indeed" 

After reading this, If your friends came into your mind, don't stay in there like that! Call them and give them a sincere hug!
                                                   

                                                 To my friends :) 

Mission Accomplished

I guess I managed to been in state of peace today! Yes I did it thanks to cloudy weather in here.(Rainy weather would be better but whatever.) And now I'm keep on feeling it with Madonna's epic Ray of Light album.This was a quite normal Sunday for me as always.I stayed at home but just took my ass to outside for a a few walking.And the rest of my day was classic.But when am I gonna have a little different Sunday or Monday or Wednesday or yes it can even be Tuesday but I always wonder when?And my inner voice always says "So soon,honey" and this "Honey" really sounds sincere and that's why I always trust my inner voice about this.I'm waiting here for these different days to come and get me.They better be hurry because I'm freaking out.I can't find anything to do and at this times I  just grab my phone,listen Mariah Carey to sleep.It works indeed you can try it too but I need to find something to deal with.Yes Mariah,Christina,Riri... can make me sleep but They won't give me something to deal with so I need to find something by myself.And If you have any suggestion,just let me know! 

                                                              

                                                                 Peaceful days!