I Just Gotta Be "ME" Not Someone Else!

Oftentimes an irritating feeling starts to rush through my body, catches me vulnerable and manages to get me under its control.For a while I go to a harsh war with this evil feeling that wrecks me inside, I do my best to defeat it and send it into a complete darkness sometimes that works and I work through this lightly but sometimes I do not and let it keep ruin me one inside the other but at the end of it all thanks to this vicious feeling I find the right way, a right way to again remain myself "I just gotta be "ME" not someone else"

Whenever I see a successful social person I always say "I wish I were like her and were more active socially" or everytime when I meet a person whose writing skills mesmerise me tremendously I always say "I wish I could write like him and had an ability to use my language in more effective way" but everytime I overlooked the truth that actually I do not have to be like them or do not have to have lots of relatives or do not have to write exactly the same way they do or have  a dreadful capacity in writing because I'm beautiful as the way I am.Because my life is great as the way it is.Because my writings are brilliant and original  as the way they are. Trying to be someone else and always comparing my own life, skills and precious things that I have in my life with the other people's stuffs has always kept me off the line and kept me away from moving forward fast so now I have decided to get this shit out of my way :) You better try it too because you will see how peaceful and happy it makes you feel.

Life Is But A Dream

 Have you ever got lost and confused while you are trying to answer "What am I doing to get closer to my dreams?" Have you ever tried to define what life exactly is and found yourself having nothing in both of your hands? Have you ever thought that "Honey you are literally beating your brains out while you are trying to question your life" Have you ever felt like you are going down while you are trying to find out the meaning of your life? And have you ever noticed that while you think that you are getting closer to the core of your life, actually you are making no headway instead drawing yourself into the negativity, despair and confusion? I have done, said and felt every single one of these things.Yeah sometimes I found myself walking down on the street, looking around myself with blank eyes and hearing nothing but my screaming voice inside saying "What am I doing now? For what am I breathing for now? What is the life? What are my dreams? What have I done so far and what is my plan to move closer to my dreams? Come on answer it! But I have no answer...." But today I have decided to turn off this annoying sound that keeping me off the track and tried to find myself a different sound... a sound that will rise into my world like the sun. Because I have learned that life is like a dream and there is no time for questioning and dwelling on the things too much.

There have been always ups and downs in my life, like everyone I have also faced the ground so many times, cried so much, got angry and asked myself "How fair this life is?" "Why am I going through all of these on and on?" "What have I done to deserve to live all of these every time?" but there has been no answer for these, there will not be too.And afterall it was just silly of me to go deep down, question everything about the life and think that I SHOULD get what I want straightaway. I got so blinded by my desires that I could not see the precious things that I have in my life instead I wanted more, more and more because for me this life was unfair and I should have had what I deserve to have RIGHT NOW! But thank god in the end I have came to know that "This is how the things are going in life. Sometimes you wish,work and get what you want but sometimes your wish has never came into a life.Go and cry,slam the door,break something,hurt yourself but at the lenght you will see that none of your actions won't be enough to change this harsh reality. So why don't you try to enjoy this ride, embrace your life with both bads and goods while you keep wishing, hoping, striving for what you want instead of questioning the life, failing to satisfy yourself and ingratituding towards the precious things that you have got in your life? This life is like a dream and we both know that you will have to wake up in the morning so why don't you just grab your pillow,close your eyes and be ready to drop off? :)

  

Dedicated to Seray and Beyonce....One of my inspirations    

Not Gonna Give Up On Myself

 It has been a long time since I last put something here and now while  I'm looking over my shoulders to the past couple of months, I do realize that I have gone through so many things, seen different sides of me, had to get into a tough battle with myself and always felt a big need to share. So now I am back.. back to bring them all down, back to soothe my heart, back to not go back to the square one, back to not give up on myself.